hmmm…
Today has been a strange day, I feel quite isolated from the rest of my year.
At the moment everyone is getting tense about our pyro show which is now a week away. Myself and Anne are the stage managers and have both been arranging all the meeting so far but today someone called an emergency meeting for tomorrow. Of course if people are concerned about the show they should call a meeting but apparently this meeting has been called because they don’t think I am doing any work for it. I am not the only person on this show and I am not the only stage manager, I understand that everyone is busy but I am too. I don’t understand why everyone seems to think it’s my fault which is pretty annoying to be honest. Although I am not technically working on a show I am not just, doing NOTHING. Which some people don’t realise. I don’t know exactly how this meeting is going to go tomorrow but I don’t really want to go. I am meant to be a Scottish Opera tomorrow as I said to the Stage management team I would be(just in case they need help), However I have been told by a few people today that the pyro show comes first. To be honest I am torn between them… I am really excited about working on opera 1 and although there is not always a lot to do at Scottish Opera I don’t want to miss anything, because there might be a situation that comes up that we can learn a great deal from. So I don’t know whether I should go to the meeting or not. Myself and Anne have organised every meeting to date and now I have a commitment to Scottish Opera I don’t want to break, I don’t know what to do…
At the moment I am just in rehearsals at Scottish Opera and although I haven’t been doing that much I have been observing and watching how situations are being handled. When my ASM’s join us I feel like I learn more because I point things out to them and try to explain things to them which re-instate it to me! I have also been getting to know the opera singers who are in the production which is great and they are talking to me about the production which makes things easier… One singer even told me today that he didn’t know If I would be a good stage manager because obviously he doesn’t know me …but I walk and stand like a stage manager…so I guess that’s something!!
My ASM’s seem to enjoy coming to Scottish opera with myself and Kieron and I love having them. I think it’s because I am quite enthusiastic about the show we are about to attempt to put on… but Kieron is not so enthusiastic which makes us all a little depressed. He doesn’t want to be on this show and I understand he is quite upset about it so I think this situation has to be sorted out today. There is no point doing a show that you’re not going to put your whole heart into because it will affect your team and the production as a whole. If the situation with Kieron is not sorted out soon it’s going to make everyone not enjoy the show as much. It’s not fair on Kieron or our team…
October 15, 2009 at 9:11 pm
Hey Emma,
First of all apologies for not commenting earlier. I like the fact that you enjoy being with your ASMs in Scottish Opera’s rehearsals. I read once (cant remember where) that the best way to learn, is to teach. This is also the reason for me asking you to help out in classes… hopefully we can do more of that again.
It sounds as if the pyro issue was due to stress (on behalf of your peers), again this is a learning opportunity as it wont be the first time you’ll encounter this sort of pressure. It doesn’t take much for a situation like this to flare up, use it as a learning experience and perhaps reflect on what you can do (as a team leader) to minimise the chances of this happening on a bigger project.
A couple of questions that you may want to consider reflecting on in the future:
1. How does your confidence affect others?
2. What are your main concerns bout undertaking this project/role?
Remember that reflection isn’t just about recounting the events of a day or even relaying feelings. These things are important but the real value of reflection is in finding solutions… i.e. What will you do next?